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Here's a Story…

Friday, May 30th, 2008

My writing progress for the week, told in the form of a symbolic story:

I’m riding along on my bike, trailing happily, looking at the view. It’s stunning. Full of wildflowers and bright green grass. I ride faster, spurred by the cool breeze and sunshine. The bumpy road doesn’t deter me. In fact, it only exhilarates me further. The world is now a blur of color as I zoom by. Flying. Going fast.

…

Too fast.

…

Can’t stop.

…

Is that a-

Wait, no-

Crap.

…

*BRICK WALL*

The End

And that’s still where I am. At the brick wall. Wondering why on Earth my story just stalled. It’s like my characters decided to take a vacation and didn’t leave a number. *shakes head* I wrote two entire scenes where their bodies were present, but their souls were GONE. Now I’m worried.

Maybe I can put out an ad:

WANTED- Loyal characters willing to trust their master and obey her. Promise of true love and happiness. Must be willing to suffer ~~terrible~~, life altering trials first. Threat of death always imminent if master is displeased.

What? Don’t think that’ll attract any attention?

Have a splendid Friday, folks!

Posted in characters, fickle muse, writing woes | 3 Comments »

The Night's a Perfect Shade of Dark Blue

Monday, April 28th, 2008

My mind is in a million different places at once. There’s a voice speaking pretty loudly in my head, but she’s speaking muffled words I don’t really understand. I think the muse is trying to communicate with me but there’s some interference. Creative static? I don’t know. But I think tonight calls for the type of writing you do in an old, beat up journal, to the sound of the rain falling pitter-patter on the roof.

During the day, the rain might seem like an inconvenience, but at night, when it’s late and you’re crawled up under the covers, it’s kind of nice to hear it fall. Lulling, really. I’m looking forward to it. Maybe it’ll help put me in the right frame of mind. My heroine is actually very closely associated to the rain. Coincidence? I think not. The muse is definitely trying to tell me something. I just wish she’d use a language I understand.

On another note, I got some bookmarks that I ordered which I’m very excited about! The quality is great, and the paper stock is sturdy. I love them! I’ll be sending those out with gift packages and book giveaways and such. *mini squee!*

Hope you’ve all had a groovy Monday.

Image: Catching Rain by Philster22 at DeviantArt.com

Posted in fickle muse, writing woes | 5 Comments »

Definitely Prompt

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

I heard back from TKA. Unfortunately, they didn’t think my project was right for them at this time. They did however think it was interesting, which I think is a major plus. I sent the first book of my fantasy series. I know the book is short… it’s really a prequel, (Episode 1, if you want to use a Star Wars reference, seeing as how this little sucker has been built in a similar fashion). It stands at about 61k. I considered selling it along with Book 2 (as in they would be one story, in one book, but labeled Book1/Book2), which would mean waiting until Book 2 is done. I don’t really know how long that’s going to take because I’m the slowest writer in the world. I was willing to expand the MS if need be. But I think the wordcount alone scared them off.

Although I think the series is good enough to go to print, I just think lengthwise, it would never make it. Category romances are the only stories usually published that are less than 100k. And they are released by the likes of Harlequin and such. A novel, especially a fantasy novel, has to be over 100k. I knew that before I sent out the query, but I thought, what the hey, right? I guess my hunch was right. I’m a tad bit disappointed, but I completely understand where they’re coming from.

So now I’m left at a bit of an impass. I can’t figure out if I want to try my hand at an e-publisher or just wait until I finish Book 2 and try to sell it again. *shrugs* I don’t really know. I’ve never had to make these kinds of decisions before.

I’ve started work on a story I wrote when I was 18 years old. It’s strange reading back on my old thoughts. The emotion in this story is difficult, almost painful to read. But honestly, I believe it’s my most open, truthful writing to date. It’s beautiful in a tragic kind of way. My grammar is dreadful and the storyline needs work but at least it’s giving me a way to vent my creative energy.

Posted in agent, brain hurts, emotional response, fantasy vs romance, fickle muse, writing woes | 2 Comments »

Huh, interesting

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Today, while I should have been working on my WIP (which I did! I swear I did! I wrote a few pages, *shrugs*), I actually got struck by a different muse. One who I haven’t had a visit with since high school actually. Strange. Here is a product of that madness:

It doesn’t make sense.
Every smart woman
Would know I made the right choice in letting you go,
In walking away
To find someone who wanted me
Needed me
With the same desperation that I wanted you
Needed you.

Unhealthy obsession
I try to push it away but it lingers.
Stupid woman that I am
Led by emotions I despise.
I guess I’m still holding on to something that never existed
Wishing against the wrong star that heaven had listened
To the quiet sobs of a broken, empty heart.

Mark me,
Place the scarlet A across my soul.
I’m tainted, baby
You didn’t buy me whole.
So much of me was missing
The part I left behind with him
If I feel distant while we’re kissing
It’s because I hate myself for loving him.

You deserve so much better than me
Half hearted love
How could I ever give back what you’ve given me?
You should be the object of someone’s adoration,
Someone beautiful and smart.
A woman
As much your equal as your complement
With enough fiery passion
To make you the center of her universe.

That’s not me
Though I wish so badly that it was
It can’t be me, baby
I’m an empty shell of who I was

I want the safety and the happiness you promise
With each look in my eyes
But I don’t deserve a man who has to compromise
You think I can make you happy
Maybe I can
But can you live in the shadow of another man?

You shouldn’t have to,
You’re a better man than he ever was
Don’t try and compete, baby
I’m just a lost cause.

Haunted by a memory
That never really happened.
The past is twisted, thwarted into a vision of what I wanted it to be.
Don’t mourn the loss, baby,
You never really wanted me
At least not the woman that I am now

The one I was before,
The one with dreams and aspirations
With a smile meant to shatter the strongest of men
That woman died, baby
Burned straight through the skin
By the heated touch of a boy,
Not yet a man
Full of empty promises
And mixed signs
To a girl those promises are heaven, baby
Those signs mean everything
Anything
She wants them to.

Warped mirror
Took me straight to Wonderland.
My Mad Hatter drugged my tea
I couldn’t see, baby
Couldn’t see past the sea of ocean blue
His eyes, his hands
The warmth his body could exude

I love you
I do
And yet I know I don’t love you like I should.
I’m still in Wonderland, baby,
Trapped inside my head.
I hate myself for loving him
When I should love you more instead.

I should learn to play an instrument so I can write my own music. I have like 3 songs I’ve ever written. I’d love to sing my own stuff. Too bad I’m like absolutely awful with stuff like instruments. Takes me FOREVER to learn.

Anyway, that’s one of two poems I wrote today. Two, for the first time in over 5 years. Strange.

Posted in fickle muse, random thoughts | No Comments »

Like Pulling Teeth

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

I love my hero. I really do. But sometimes, he and I just don’t see eye to eye. This one little chapter I’m working on right now, this chapter is really important. I keep trying to explain to him that this chapter leads to the chapter of realization for him, to the moment where his thoughts change. These changing thoughts will thus lead me to the climax. In so many words, this freaking scene needs to happen. Case closed.

I hate days like today. Days when writing feels like an exercise in patience, self-control, and stamina. Days when rather than feeling like a creative genius, I feel like I smoked crack when I decided to start this story. I’m pulling words from nowhere.

I know where the story is headed. In fact, I know where the scene is headed. Still… for whatever reasons, the words just aren’t forming. I’m not going to force it. Not tonight anyway. I don’t have enough energy for that. But when I do… ha, they better watch it. My characters are in line for some trouble if they don’t get their act together.

Posted in calling my muse, fickle muse, wip stuff, writing woes | 1 Comment »